Journeys

Recently, I've been pondering ones journeys. I find it fascinating how God has something laid out for each of us to go through, based on who we are, and his plan for us. I, by no means, understand why God has certain people walk the path that he does. Why he makes others smoother, and some rougher then you could ever imagine.

I won't lie, I've gotten really mad at God about this before. Sometimes it was in regards to my own life, and sometimes it is the life of a friend, who is struggling through the muck and the miry and it breaks my heart to see them so broken. There have been times when everyone else's lives seem to be going perfect, and I wonder why in the world are they complaining about the dumbest things, don't they know I would kill for that right now?

I have been on my knees in my bedroom, sobbing before God to change things, anything, to just let me come above water to catch my breath as I feel like I am drowning in my own life. I have been on my knees sobbing over what I see a friend or family member go through, because it breaks me to see them in so much pain and I beg God to just smooth out their path... to give them a break... to relieve them of the hurt that they are burdened with.

Why DOES God have us go through certain things?

One of the things that God has, I believe, blessed me with the ability of, is to see who people are meant to be. Not who they ARE, but who they were created to be. I will admit that sometimes I see this so strongly, that I get myself in trouble, and instead of seeing who they are, in the here and now, I see beyond that... and yes, this can create a whole mess of trouble at times when I trust people more then I probably should, or I don't see all the red flags that are flying up in my face.

Am I sounding crazy yet? Yes? Good ;) I like crazy!

Anyway... Can I tell you something? If you want to know how beautifully God created you to be, can I just say, it so SO BEAUTIFUL!

I think that in some way, God has been showing me that because I can see who he created people to be, that I can understand the 'why' in their journeys a bit more. How I'm to help people in that, I'm not entirely sure, as I'm in my own journey of learning, struggles, and hidden blessings... but I hope for God to show me.

Side not: Am I who God created me to be? Sadly, no. I'm far too loud and need to learn to close my mouth at times :D I learned a whole new level of feisty in my struggles, and I think God is now saying 'whoa there! That may be just a tad too much then I intended you to learn... let's have you go through something else to tame that one down.' or maybe 'Um, dear daughter, you be gettin' feisty 'bout the WRONG thing and not 'bout what you supposed to be.' (Yes, in my mind, God be talkin' ghetto sometimes.) Felt like I needed to add this in here, as I am far from perfect, and far from who he created me to be as well!