Saturday, November 3, 2012

Random thoughts on WIC and Food Stamps...

Hi, welcome back to the forgot and sadly updated blog ;) I don't usually put my view out there on things because we all have our own views on things and we all need to respect that, but this is the little bit of life that I have been faced with and I though I would share for whomever wanted to read...

I went grocery shopping this morning. While at the store I was standing in the checkout line, putting my items on the belt like I always do. I put them on there in the way that I want to pack them. The cold stuff goes on the belt together, as do the frozen, produce, and dry goods. It's just the way I do things, call me OCD but it makes packing a breeze. Anyway, I was reminded of when I used to be on WIC. I remembered having to sort everything according to which 'check/coupon' I was giving the cashier so they could scan it through easily. I remembered it was slightly frustrating but I was thankful that there was help for the short time we needed it.

I also had a different memory come back. I remember the anxiety of standing in the checkout line with WIC coupons. The, fear, I guess, of being lashed at for having WIC coupons. I would hide them in my purse until the last minute and then take them out for the cashier. Then I would stand there, waiting for the cashiers to push things through and hope that I was going to be lucky today. See, I have heard so many stories about people being chewed out because they were in line at a grocery store and they had food stamps or WIC coupons and some person felt the need to yell at them, tell them to get a job, that they were lazy, that they were selfish ect ect. Now, stories are stories, some may be true, some not, but, posts on facebook of what all your friends think, those are true.

See, I see lots of posts on facebook about how people on government aid are sucking the life out of the government, how they need to just go out and get a job, how they are lazy, drug addicts, drunks, and irresponsible human beings. I also read posts making fun of those on government assistance and so on. Posts like that, from many different people, used to reinforce to me that yes, you make just get chewed out in the checkout line because even people you know are acting like or think like the people you heard in the horror stories.

I used to get so stressed out every time I went to the grocery store. Seriously, it was a nightmare. It didn't make it any better when I would get to the checkout line and the people behind me would walk away to a different line with a big huff after seeing me hand the cashier my coupon or make some rude comment under their breath. Or it didn't help if the cashier would give me a hard time that I wasn't getting something on the list because then, I wasn't being a very thankful or needy person then was I... sigh...

Josh, my husband, has a four year degree in mechanical engineering. He graduated right when the economy took a nose dive. There were no jobs for him, and, to be honest, there still really aren't. We moved to South Korea to find work, then Josh was offered a job in the US so we moved back, but when we got back it fell through and we were stuck with no jobs, a baby, and one on the way. Josh finally, after months of trying, got a job at an insurance company that paid $11.54 an hour. He worked his bum off, worked overtime, and I budgeted like a mad woman, but no matter what, could not make ends meet. We had one car, Josh's school loans to pay, and a baby on the way. We have qualified for WIC for over two years by that point but never took it because we had been able to figure things out, but no matter how hard I tried, I could not stay within budget on groceries. So we went on WIC and honestly, we didn't want to, but we needed too and we were very thankful for the help that we got.

My point is, not everyone that you see in the grocery line in front of you with food stamps or WIC is a government leach. They aren't all dirt of the earth that need to be made fun of or they are lazy couch potato's that don't want to work. Some of them, well, they are truly hard working people who can't make ends meet at the moment and are trying to do what is best for their family. So, chewing them out is not going to make them, or anybody else, feel better except for you. Writing posts about them on facebook and making fun of them or people in their class make them feel down right crappy and create anxiety and fear about grocery shopping. Seriously, grocery shopping. One should not have fear about getting food for their family.

Thankfully we haven't had to be on WIC for over a year, Josh has been blessed with a good job and we  are thankful for the services WIC offered when we needed them.

I don't like people taking advantage of the government any more then the next person. I think it's sad that people do it and that our government is set up to let them do it. I just don't think it's ok to lump all the people on WIC or food stamps together and treat them all like parasites.

Watch what you post on your walls on facebook, you might be making someones next grocery trip more of a nightmare then it already is.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Grandpa & Eli

This is one of my new favorite pictures...


Eli just crawled right up to his Grandpa, sat down and 'chatted' away about things he saw. It was so precious! I just love everything about it. I love the looks on both of their faces. I love that it's a generational shot. I love the roots and the tree. And, I love that is captured the moment! It's just all so perfect. I think this one is a framer for sure. 

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Massage at Grandma's Marathon

This last weekend was Grandma's Marathon in Duluth. Grandma's marathon is always huge every year. Tons of people from all of the country (and the world for that matter) come to Duluth for the event and there are tourists galore down in Duluth's beautiful Canal Park to cheer their friends and family members on. I've known people that have run the full and half marathon before but I have avoided the whole scene every year due to how crazy and hectic it is there. This year was even more so because along with the regular three races (full marathon, half, and wheelchair) there was also two races for olympic qualifiers for the summer olympics this year.

This year, though, was a whole new story. See I've been going to school for massage therapy at DBU in Duluth. I'll be done in September (can't wait!)! One of my teachers sponsors Grandma's Marathon every year and sets up a huge tent down in Canal Park and after the runners are done with their races they can come in to get a massage. I know, you might think that it sounds a little crazy, but if a runner gets a massage after their runs, it can cut their recovery time in half.

Well, because of the school switching around our class schedules this next quarter for Practicum (where we work on clients that come to the school for massage), we now need to make up some hours that we are losing, outside of class at events. Therefore, this is one of the events that we could get massage hours for.

So four of my other classmates and myself did massage at Grandma's marathon this year with about 30-35 other therapists in the massage tent. There was about 40ish therapists there total. Our tent was crazy packed! Literally, the saying 'packed in like sardenes' was very appropriate here.

There was about a foot of space in between the tables for us to work. Talk about figuring out different ways to give massage and running into each other all day long! Thankfully, as you can see, we had covers to put over our tables (which you will probably understand why I was so thankful about that in a minute!).

Myself and three of my classmates woke up before the crack of dawn (literally!) to meet at school at 4AM and carpool down to canal park. I was up before 3AM and only had, at most, 4 hours of semi-sleep in me. You know when you have to get up early, so you cannot sleep? Yeah, that was me. It was 4 hours of half sleeping and/or getting up constantly to look at the clock. Anyway, we met at school at 4AM and everyone hopped in my van and we made it down to canal.

The only people down there that early were the people setting up for the marathon. We had to be there before 6AM anyway because the area that we were in was secured and only volunteers and runners were allowed in. We helped set up massage tables, fill our baskets with supplies and set them out, filled ice packs, ate breakfast, and practiced massage on each other. We had some time to spare so my classmates and I ended up doing Yoga shortly after sunrise.
I was, ahem, not the best yoga person ever. I laughed a lot, fell over a couple of times, and laughed some more. My classmates can be hilarious and it was quite impossible to hold hard yoga poses while you are trying not to laugh! Haha!

Finally the runners started coming in. I had no idea what to expect! Some runners literally cross the finish line and walk straight for the massage tent. They come in sweating profusely, completely exhausted, and lie on your table. Needless to say, the first guy I had on my table, I was pretty grossed out as, well, you don't really need oil to work on them if they are sweating that badly and it gets in every crevice of your hands and nails... Yuck. Hence being thankful for the cover on my table. After about the 2-3rd runner was on my table I got over the grossed out, sweaty part of if and worked away.

The runners mostly complained about their legs hurting. Some about their bums or groins, and some about their lower backs. Some had muscle cramps or had injuries before even running and were in a lot of pain.

Right before my lunch break the full marathon runners came in. I got to work on one of the elite runners, one of the Kenyan guys. It was kind of cool because the body between a half marathon runner, a full marathon runner, and an elite runner are all so different. I had never worked on anyone with that kind of body before and it was pretty cool and interesting!

Lunch came and one of my friends and I took out break together... we had a hard time putting our lunches down our tummies. You go from working on sweaty, and sorry, but honestly smelly people, whose some of their skin comes off while you work on them because hey, we all shed, some worse then others, with only hand sanitizer to clean your hands with, and then you have to go touch your food and eat. *Shudder* I don't have a strong stomach in the first place, that about pushed me over the edge to be completely honest.

The weather started to change drastically and it started to get cold. From that point on all I had was full marathon runners on my table. The first guy I had after lunch started to get hypothermic on my table. I wasn't prepared at all for this. I mean, we had been trained about it, talked about it a lot, but when you are actually faced with it, well it's kinda scary.

From that runner on, almost every single one of my runners got hypothermic. I seemed to get 'lucky' with that because right at the next tables they had zero for the longest time.

It's amazing how fast a runner can turn hypothermic on you. Literally they lay down/ you are working on the for 5 minutes or however long and all the sudden, within 30 seconds, their faces and hands turn completely blue, they start shivering on you uncontrollably, some of them, their eyes almost seem to glaze over, they have no idea what is happening, and you have to start working quick. First I had to throw a towel on them, then the plastic blanket and tuck it in under them so no heat escapes. Then come the hot packs on their major arteries and then it's a waiting game almost. I would still massage them over their cocoon, and especially the areas that weren't covered, and watch them closely. Sometimes I would get super worried if they seemed to be asleep so I would ask them questions about their run or where they were from. Slowly they would stop shivering, and get color back in their faces and hands and most of the time it was like you had a whole new person on your table because they would get talkative and lively again.

By 2PM, when we were done, we were all completely exhausted! We had to carry our massage tables back to my car, load them up and get back to school. My energy level had been pretty good all day. I had felt exhausted at times but not really tired... until half way home. My goodness, I had a hard time staying awake on the way home! When I got home I walked like an old lady up to the house because I was sore and tired, cleaned my hands (like DEEP CLEANED!), took a shower, and fell into bed!

I can honestly say that no matter how gross it was, frightening it was at times, busy, or overwhelming, it was worth going. I learned a ton about the human body, learned some new techniques, met some amazing people, and all the runners that came through were so thankful! It's an amazing feeling knowing that you helped someone!

It was kind of funny a few times. Some of the runners would say 'wow! I don't know who had the harder job today. No part of my (26 mile) run was fun but I sure wouldn't want to be you.' Lol! Then they would go on to thank us profusely. It wasn't that bad but it was still good to know we were appreciated!


Saturday, May 19, 2012

Kidney Walk

I had a very interesting and emotional day. A few weeks ago my massage teacher notified my class of the Kidney Walk in Duluth. The walk was looking for massage therapist students to volunteer their time for the walkers and volunteers on walk day. I had originally not signed up to give massages that day but after some fellow students cancelled I volunteered to take their place.

Now I didn't think too much about the walk. I didn't really know too much about what it was about and for whatever the reason I didn't think it was that important. Not because kidney disease or failure isn't serious, I just didn't understand. But, I was very, very wrong. It was very important to so many people.

This morning my friend Melissa, a fellow student, and I met up and DBU and carpooled down to Bayfront for the walk. We set up our chairs and waited for the first people to show up for complimentary massages. Within minutes I found out why this walk was so important and so emotional for so many people. There were two young girls there, maybe 6 and 7, holding a sign that said 'We Walk for Our Brother' and there was a picture of a little toddler boy on the picture. My friend and I were almost in tears when we saw them.

There were also people there with shirt that read 'In honor of Bill, 05/05/12'. Their fellow friend and family member had died less then two weeks ago from a kidney condition.

The hardest one for me was this young boy. His brother and him were maybe 2 years old and they were running around playing. He kept walking by us and I noticed right away that he had blotches and scabby areas all over his face. He walked a tiny bit slower and had a look to his face that I just couldn't forget. I soon noticed that his picture was on the back of quiet a few peoples shirts. It turned out he was sick with a kidney disease. Broke my heart.

I also gave a massage to a lady with a kidney disease. And there was another lady who was being worked on who had just had a funeral the day before for a family member and friend.

It was a hard day and very emotional. I had to keep from crying so many times. But, it was amazing because although it was emotional, everyone had such a light hearted attitude. Everyone was laughing, joking around, and over all just having a good time. I completely salute the families and friends that were there walking for their loved ones.

Congratulations Kidney Walkers for raising over $70,000 today!

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

so many babies

There are so many babies in my family. I love each and every one of my nieces and nephews! 
From left to right: Tyvan (4), Liam (2), Kyeson (almost 1), Trynica (almost 6), Brendyn (6), Wyatt (1), Berlin (4), Vienna (2), Elizek (almost 2), and Gabriel (3). 

There are 10 children so far ages 6 and under. One more on the way, my sister Kristy's baby is due in June! 

I love these little munchkins!

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

How to make a cake...

If you have ever made a big fancy cake before, you know that it is a lot of work. It is fun work and it's rewarding and the look on peoples faces when you give them their cake is priceless and enough payment in itself. I love making cakes for people and I love it when people give me free reign when designing the cakes because then I feel free to be as creative as possible. It's awesome!

Some people don't get why it takes so long to make the cakes that I do. I completely understand where they are coming from. I didn't think it took that long either... until I made one and then I understood. So here are some of the steps to making a cake, and, I didn't even take pictures of it all, but what can I say, I'm forgetful! :)

First you must make the cake of course :)

Now you can make your cake from scratch or from a box. It all depends on what you prefer! Making the cake actually takes forever. Well, if you had lots of pans and a double oven it wouldn't take that long, but I only have two pans of the big sizes and one 6 inch pan, so that's 12 minutes per layer times however many layers there are. This particular cake had lots of layers because it was an orange creamsicle devil chocolate cake and it needs lots of layers... the more layers the yummier it tastes!

You want all your layers to be the same so you may want to measure how much you put into each pan...

YUM!!!! Then the cakes must cool down :)

For this cake I had to make the delicious orange cream filling. 

Then we fill the layers! Oh yes! Come to Mama :) In the middle is the orange filling, then a ring of cool whip, and then chocolate frosting! The orange filling melts if it's next to the chocolate frosting, so there must be a barrier in between them. 

Continue stacking...

You could just leave the cake like this if you wanted too... but what fun would that be? :)

Then we dirty ice the tier. I covered the whole thing in chocolate icing and it needs to be as smooth as possible, though it doesn't have to be perfect because you are going to cover it in fondant... Then you stick it in the fridge to settle and get the frosting to harden a bit. 

Then, bad me I didn't take pictures of it, but you cover the tier in fondant. This takes practice and more practice. This cake had some ripples in it that in some cakes I would have normally smoothed out but the theme was a cowboy cake. That meant that I got to do a bandana pattern on the cake and I thought the ripples added character to the bandana/cloth idea. Anyway, I made a fondant rope, scratched it to make it look more real and put it around the bottom of both tiers. Then I hand painted the bandana pattern on both tiers as well. 

For whatever cake you make, and if you want figures on the cake, this is when you would put them on.  You can cut out fondant figures by hand or with cookie cutters. You attach them to the cake with either water or frosting, both act as a glue. 

Then stack the tiers and put on any final touches. And there you have it! A cowboy themed birthday cake! 

Sunday, April 15, 2012

brotherly love

Easter

I know Easter was a week ago but I still wanted to share pictures with everyone :)
Easter kind of started a week early for us. Family had come up to visit and we had an Easter egg hunt. Eli of course chose to hunt for eggs with his favorite person (you know, besides me *wink*) which is his Uncle Christopher!

He was actually really good at finding the eggs!



I didn't get many pictures of Gabriel hunting because he ran ahead and I wasn't feeling well so I couldn't really keep up. 


The kids with all their eggs! They were so excited! 


My men with their treasures! 




Then the next weekend we got to color eggs! Gabriel was super excited! 


Daddy and Eli! Eli wasn't sure what was going on at first but after he discovered what happened he was really into it. 



He also liked to balance eggs on his spoon :)


Then the next morning was Easter and the boys got to find their Easter baskets. 



If you haven't noticed from pictures of Gabriel isn't a big fan of pictures and Eli is a ham!



Fun lights!


And Eli passed out in the late afternoon after trying to skip his afternoon nap... his plan didn't work! 


And that night we had a campfire which the boys loved!



And Eli with his BFF ;)



Gabriel literally carried this whole tree up the hill from the woods all by himself! What a strong man! 


We had such a fun Easter! 

Flyin' High





Saturday, April 14, 2012

Pain: Part Three

I know I'm a little behind one part three of my little story. I had literally spent my entire break in between quarters at school at the hospital and recovering from surgery. Now school started again and I was done for before it even started... and it doesn't help that I'm taking five hard classes. So, in other words, blogging kinda got pushed to the back burner. But to finish the story I started...

I got back from the hospital that Wednesday late in the evening and thought there was nothing else wrong. Then Sunday came along and half way through the day my stomach started to not feel right. It felt swollen and it was painful. Not any kind of painful either, it felt like like a lesser version of what sent me into the hospital the first time. I thought maybe it was indigestion (because, you know, after one has surgery they usually struggle with that kind of thing.... ahem) and decided to wait it out because, in the beginning, it really wasn't that bad.

The day went on and things started to get worse. I stopped eating any form of food mid-afternoon and only drank water. After everyone else ate supper things just got worse and worse. My stomach was really starting to hurt. I managed to get my kids in bed and went to sit on the couch.

From there, whatever prompted me to get up and go to the kitchen did not end up being good for me. I got to the kitchen and in the 10 feet or so that I walked I got very faint and was short of breath. I stood at the edge of the kitchen with the world spinning and before I knew it I was on the floor. I had half passed out.

I say half passed out because I knew what was going on but had absolutely no control over it. I guess I always think that you have to black out to completely pass out, everything else is just a half pass out... you know?

Anyway. I called the ER and asked them what I should do. The nurse asked me a few questions and I told her my symptoms and that I had recently had surgery. She told me that I needed to be seen immediately and to hang up the phone and call 911. I told her I would probably just have my dad drive me since we live so far out and she told me not to do that and to call 911 immediately and that this was an emergency.

Have I ever told you I'm really bad at listening to doctors orders?

I had my dad drive me to the ER :)

We got to the hospital in Moose Lake and I could barely walk in and got back to the ER. They asked me 101 questions and put an IV in and took blood for labs. The doctor came and looked at me and decided that it wasn't as big of an emergency as the nurse on the phone had thought but I still needed to be transferred up to Duluth to St. Mary's where I had my first surgery. They gave me pain meds in my IV and then, of course, the world gets a little happier after that... if you know what I mean :)

My dad drove me up to the St. Mary's and they took more labs and it turned out that my liver and pancreas were extremely infected. A stone had escaped in my first surgery and was clogged in my bile duct and it was causing everything to back up and my body was not responding well to that. Surgery was needed... again. Frick!

So my dad went home and I fell asleep and they scheduled my surgery for the next day.

Unfortunately they couldn't fit me in early in the day because they were overbooked for surgeries or something like that, so I had to wait until 6PM to have my surgery. All I was allowed was ice chips... I was starving!!!!!

The surgery went well. They stuck tubes down my throat to get to the stone instead of slicing me open again so when I woke up my throat was extremely sore. I had kind of freaked out at the beginning of my surgery because when I had my first one I was out of it by the time I got to the surgical room so I didn't remember a thing. So going in, fully awake, to have surgery was a whole knew deal for me and I was super nervous, especially because they were going to stick so many tubes down my throat *shudder*. Alas, I survived, and I don't remember a darn thing except everyone in the room sound like robots right before I was officially out of it. And I ain't lyin'. It kinda made me think they were all aliens... or robots... believe me, when you are laying there on a table and there are 6 people standing over you in scrubs and masks and they have machine like voices all the sudden it kinda freaks you out.

No, I don't have mental issues... why do you ask?

They put me back in my room. I asked for liquids. They said no. At this point I was beyond frustrated because I had 3 different nurses during the day telling me what they thought was going on and how things were going to go, then two different doctors telling me their treatment plans but both the plans were different. No two persons stories about how things were going to go were the same. The doctors would tell me I could have liquids and then the nurses told me the doctors told them I couldn't. I was so irritated. Partly because I hadn't had any food and was on ice chips for 36 hours by that point, and partly because I kept being told a hundred different things.

By the next morning I felt fine but I was starting to have major hunger pains and I hadn't slept half the night because of them. The doctor told me at 6AM that I could have liquids and if those went down fine and my labs came back fine after that then I could have regular food and then go home... the nurses told me at 8AM that I couldn't do any of that. I. was. pissed. off!!!! I think I exploded on the nurse at that point telling them that they were not to doctors and telling them exactly what the doctor had said that morning and that they sure as hell better do what he said and not whatever they wanted to do because I had had enough!

I think they were scared of me.

The gave me liquids.

I was a happy woman.

Then like 2 hours later they tried to play the same game with me again.

I told them off again.

Then they let me go home after I made them follow the doctors orders.

I was so happy to leave and be done with the hospital thing and the nurses with a hundred different stories.

I'm sure they were happy to be done with me too :)

I spent the next few days recovering again. I felt so much better. Like I felt like there had been something crappy in my body making me feel off for months and it was gone. I know, that is really what happened, but it's hard to explain how that really feels. It's not just in your mind, you really do feel different.

No. I don't have psychological issues... why do you ask?

So things are a lot better now. I'm still really exhausted some days but that is also contributed to school and kids. But I can do most of what I used to be able to do. I'm not supposed to lift my kids but they don't get that and I have to sometimes so I do and it doesn't hurt or anything and I'm close to the end of my timeline restrictions so I figured it's all good. I carry them on my left side though, away from the incisions on the right side :)

Here are some pictures from my hospital stays:

This would be me. On pain meds. Completely high saying 'Look! I'm like a Korean!!!'
Stop it! I do not have mental issues! The answer is still no :)


My kids came to visit me the first time I was in the hospital.

And the drew me a card! It was so sweet! 

And when I got home the second time Eli wouldn't let me go! 

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Pain: Part Two

So the next morning we found out exactly what time my surgery was going to be at (10AM) and I called Josh and he left my parents house immediately to make it on time (it's an hour drive).

I was pretty nervous. They were telling me what was going to happen and then they said something about a breathing tube being placed down my throat and then I can say that at that point I started to freak out inside. I asked multiple times if I was going to be asleep for the breathing tube part. I did not want to be awake when it went in or when it came out! They assured me I would be out and very few people actually remember it being taken out even though you are starting to wake up when they do remove it. I still wasn't too excited about it. Most people may be nervous that their stomach is going to be cut in to, that complications may arise, or so on... I was nervous about a tube in my throat!

They took me down to prep me for surgery and Josh still hadn't arrived. The anesthesiologist went to look for him a couple of times and some of the nurses but no one ever found him. It turned out that he was there, but they had put him in the wrong waiting room so he didn't know when I was going in or when I was done. Anyway, so I was in the prep room and I was nervous so they gave me something to relax me and it made me fall asleep before I even got to the surgical room. Therefore, I don't remember anything about the surgery at all, even being put to sleep, so when I woke up almost three hours later I at first thought I didn't have the surgery yet. Then the cold hard truth hit me in the face, well, more like the stomach, as I felt all sorts of pain in my abdomen. And, I itched, everywhere!

It turns out I was allergic to something in the anesthesia and it was making me itchy. As in I kinda wanted to rip my skin off! They quickly gave me more pain meds and some Benadryl in my IV. I fell asleep again and my doctor came by to explain to me how the surgery went. He told me I probably wouldn't remember much of what he said and he couldn't find Josh yet (since he had been in the wrong waiting room). From what I remember, he told me it went well, something or other about another surgery the next morning being possible, and then I asked if I could see my gallbladder... he said no.

The next thing I remember is when I woke up in my room and Josh was finally there. I pretty much slept the rest of the day it seemed like. Every time I woke up I still was itchy and begged for more Benadryl and then fell back asleep.

The next day they drew blood, in the morning and tests came back that my liver was going back to normal so I didn't need to have another surgery. My kids came to visit me that morning. I was so excited to see them! They were a little overwhelmed by the whole hospital thing but it was so wonderful that they were there! We read books together and watched cartoons. I started to get really tired so Josh took the kids down to the gift shop to pick something out for me. They came back with a little curious george for me, it was so cute! The boys went home with my mom and Josh stayed with me in hopes that I would be able to go home.

I finally was able to get up and about and take a shower that day and my friend Melissa came to visit me from school. We were supposed to have our final exam that night, there was no way I was going to be able to make it though. I was so thankful for visitors!

I finally got to go home that night after I was able to hold down regular food without any pain. For the next few days at home I slept all the time. If I took pain meds, which I needed, I was usually out within 30 minutes of taking them. I was lucky to have stretches of being up for more then 2 hours. To me, it felt absolutely ridiculous. But at the same time I couldn't help it.

I thought my troubles were over. I had been home for three and a half days and things were getting better... or so I thought. And then Sunday afternoon came along...

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Pain: Part One

Wow. It's been a very long week and a half 'round these parts. Where oh where to even begin?

So, two Monday's ago I landed in the ER in Duluth. I had gone to Duluth all by myself to go to a friends house and to run some errands. I made it to visit my friend Melissa and I wasn't feeling too good. My stomach felt off... not a sick off, like the flu, but it was semi painful and extremely uncomfortable. I wasn't sure what was going on. It was kind of a normal pain for me because it resembled the pain like I got from eating wheat, but the problem was, I didn't eat any wheat that morning and it wasn't extremely painful (yet) like when I would eat wheat... it was strange for me and I wasn't really sure what was going on.

I went from Melissa's home and headed to the mall to run some errands. I made it to the first store and life quickly started to turn on me. My stomach was feeling more and more painful and it was getting hard to walk, move, breath... anything. I made the foolish decision to continue shopping. I decided that things needed to 'get moving' in my stomach and walking would help that out. So I walked deeper into the mall and headed to Yonkers. Such a bad idea.

In Yonkers the situation went from really bad to worse in a matter of minutes. I was soon laying on the floor in a dressing room in excruciating pain trying to figure out how in the world I was going to get out to my car. I laid there for a good long while and things were not getting better. I finally got up and the world was a bit on the fuzzy, spinning side of things. I thought I was going to end up passed out in the middle of the aisle. A worker there asked me if I was feeling alright, apparently I looked like a sheet of paper.

I made the very long and beyond painful walk back to my car. A smart person may have had someone call 911 for her... I was not smart at that point.

I got out to my car and laid in the back seat for a bit but I knew something was not right. Something felt off (you know, besides the fact that it was excruciatingly painful). I decided to head down to urgent care at St. Mary's hospital which I found very hard to find and ended up accidentally parking over three blocks away in a parking ramp and had to ask for directions and then walk the rest of the way myself. Apparently, I looked like crap enough for someone to call ahead warning them that someone was looking for Urgent Care and was about to keel over because a police officer found me on my way asking if I was the 'the one' looking for Urgent Care and no matter how embarrassing at the point I may have looked I have never been so happy to see someone looking for me before.

By the way... if you are in extreme pain. DON'T drive yourself to the hospital. I think I almost caused a few accidents along the way. It was a dumb move.

I got down to Urgent Care, the doctor looked at me for maybe two minutes before telling me I needed to be transferred to the ER. At this point I finally started trying to call my family to tell them what was going on but no one answered. I left messages with a few people but failing to get ahold of anyone for quite some time.

In the ER I got looked over and they drew blood and got an IV going. They gave me something for the pain which made me loopy but I was ever so thankful. From the time I started to feel my stomach feeling off/painful to the time I got pain meds was over 7 hours... it was a long 7 hours!

Anyway, tests came back and it determined that my liver, gallbladder, and bile duct were infected due to stones in my gallbladder and things weren't working properly. So they kept me over night and scheduled me for surgery the next morning to remove my gallbladder.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Little People, Big Dreams

If my boys would actually be serious and you asked them what they wanted to be when they grew up you would probably get some unique answers. Well, except for the fact that Gabriel insists that he does not want to grow up and wants to stay a kid because 'men don't play and kids do'. But either way, he still has dreams brewing in his mind. 

Last summer Gabriel fell in love with tennis. He would wake up in the morning and ask if tennis was on and if it was he would sit and watch entire matches. It was amazing actually. I didn't think he would have patience to sit through a set, much less an entire match, but he did! And he had a favorite tennis player, Novak Djokovic. He would pretend that he played tennis and pretend to with and say 'I'm Djokovic!' When tennis season was done Gabriel was beyond bummed. I thought the fascination would die away since tennis was done but it hasn't. Gabriel will still pretends to play tennis and loves to hit balls across the room. So Gabriel's answer would be that he wants to be a tennis player when he grows up :)

Eli, whom always is complete opposite from his brother appears to have a different passion. Eli loves piano. When my brother comes home from school, Eli will go grab his hand and lead him to the piano. Then my brother and Eli sit and play for a long time and Eli tries to copy his Uncle. Christopher, my brother, will take Eli's hands and play this simple song every time they sit down and one day after Christopher was done playing, Eli went and pretty well played the song all by himself! He will sit down by himself at the piano and try to play and honestly, he can carry a tune pretty well! Today he climbed up on the piano and grabbed a music book, opened it up, pointed to some notes and then pretended to play them and then put the book back. It's such a cute obsession for a 20 month old. So Eli's answer, if he could talk, would be that he wants to be a piano player. 

I know that their interests will change and they will grow out of some interests and into new ones and I'm ok with that and excited to see what they will be interested in next. But for right now, I love my little tennis player and piano player and will encourage them in what they enjoy :)

Friday, February 3, 2012

Randomness...

Life has been ever-changing the last month and a half and it's crazy.

School started up again, I'm taking 15 credits and at times it is very challenging. Back in the day when I was doing my generals, I didn't have kids, and I was only 16-17 years old, anything less then 16 credits was slacking... I always took between 16-18 credits each semester and it didn't really bother me. Then again, the classes back then were, well, generals, and not exactly hard. This quarter I'm taking Medical Laws and Ethics, Kinesiology, Human Anatomy II, and Massage Techniques II. My mind is jammed full of words, terms, names, ect. that I could have never even thought of and at times, I'm so confused at to why they gave certain muscles and bones they names they did... I mean, really, I think they just wanted to make up crazy new words and use letters in the alphabet that aren't used as much. Like zygomaticus major or sternocleidomastoid... they purposefully tried it make it difficult... in my opinion ;)

Soon I'm going to have to start doing two massages a week for my massage class... now I just need to find clients!

School is also more challenging this quarter then the last because of my job. When I started my job I was at the end of my last quarter and there wasn't much expected of me at my job because I was new. Now I've had the job from the beginning of this quarter and there is far more expected of me at work then before. I have started (though not sure if I will continue...) to interview people and train in new waitresses. The restaurant was also short on staff for awhile so I had to take more shifts then I actually wanted too or thought I could handle. I'm actually still stuck in this stage for a bit longer but it should change soon as I've trained in a few more waitresses as of late that will help relieve the load.

It's hard having two kids and going to school full time and working. I give people credit who do this all the time with little to no help. Thankfully I have some people around me who help me out and watch the kids for me when I have to go to work and school. I don't know how I would do it without them! I have to say though, that I still miss my kids something fierce. Going from stay-at-home-mom to student-working-mom is definitely challenging, for me and them. I can tell they miss me and I really miss them! 

My boys are doing so well! Eli is finally getting a little weight on him and Gabriel is getting so tall! Eli doesn't like to use words much but he is far from quiet :) He is picking up more and more though with words and I am so proud of him! He is also discovering more of his adventurous side and therefore, getting into lots of trouble :)

Gabriel is entering a new stage of learning. He has always been a very factual child. He has never been one to do a ton of imaginary play, he would rather fix something or learn how something works. Now he has entered this stage of asking how and why everything is the way it is. I love it! I love to teach him new things about the world and all the little parts of life. Granted, I'm not big into how things work, so a lot of his questions stump me... like 'how does a car run?' ect. But I try my hardest and sometimes, I just have to send him to someone else who knows more mechanical things then I do... like Opa :)

The boys and I have been sick. A lot. It seems like one or all of us have been sick since Thanksgiving. The worst hit for me a little less then two weeks ago. I lost my voice and felt (and still feel) like I got hit by a bus and someone is trying to blow up a balloon in my head. I missed work and school and pretty much tried to lay in bed or on the couch for a few days. I thought it was going away, and then it relapsed and I feel like I'm back at square one, except I still have my voice, somewhat :)

Anyway, life has been ever-changing, difficult and rewarding lately. We're taking it one day at a time and doing what we can for that day, and seeing my boys taken care of, loved, learning and happy is the best thing in the world!