pull them in close

As I sit on the floor, surrounded by piles of paperwork, notes, bills, and the like, a sweet little boy comes walking towards me. Remote in hand, cheeky smile on his face, innocence and naughty-ness all rolled up into one chunky toddler face with kissable soft cheeks. He comes closer, and I know what he wants; he wants to be held for all of 5 seconds, before running off to the next thing to get in too. Soon his little feet are standing on a pile of paperwork I've worked hard on, and files I don't really want in more of a mess then they already are.

"No, no." I caution as I try to push him back.
Instant concern crosses his face, he did something wrong. He pushes harder to get to me, messing up my mess more.

"Jared, No, no!" I told him. Tears fill his baby blue eyes, and he pushes harder still to get to me. I hadn't yelled at him, I hadn't hurt him, but his little mind didn't know those things. What he knew was that he was scared, that he had done something wrong, and he wanted his Mommy.

I scooped him up, put him on my lap, and within 5 seconds after getting his reassurance that he was safe, that he was loved, he was off, playing with buttons on the TV and getting in to his brothers things.

(What? Not me Mom, I'm as innocent as can be!)

Why I am telling you this story? I realized that often times, it's harder to push our kids away from us, then it is to draw them close. I know, contrary to what we've heard, but hear me out here.

Kids WANT to be loved. Kids WANT to feel safe. Kids WANT Mommy and Daddy to shower their love on them, and to know them. Kids WANT us, their parents.

I think kids are so forgiving for this reason... they don't want to stay mad at us, and never talk to us. Well, they might for a short while, but at least in their young years, they really want us.

Sometimes we create more of a mess, like I was doing with my son when I was pushing him away, when we try to push them away. Unintentionally, I was pushing my son away because I was concerned about my work, about crumpled papers... how often do we do this in life? How often do we push our kids away because we are talking on the phone, because we are checking our facebook, because we are tired, worn out, working, don't know what we're doing, feel like we will mess up, or are in a bad mood? Are we creating a mess in life, and hurting their feelings when we could take just a minute to pull them in, and reassure them that they are safe, that they are loved?

Yes, my son is still running around being a little stinker, as is his nature, while I blog this. The difference from before? Well, it wasn't that hard to move my papers; my mess was my fault, not his. But more so, he keeps coming up to me with the same cheeky smile, with his innocence and naughty nature shining through those glorious glowing cheeks, wanting just one second of attention and love before getting in to his next mess. And I embrace it... and in turn, there has been a lot of giggling this morning, and far less tears!